Start Quotes on validating others

Quotes on validating others

Think back to the last time you really felt heard, understood, and listened to. You join their world and see things from their point of view.

Maybe they don’t reciprocate, or maybe they do, but you go on a few dates and it doesn’t work out for whatever reason and it’s “It’s because there’s something wrong with me”.

When you believe this and that you’re ‘not good enough’, you draw an incorrect conclusion that a stranger who doesn’t know you very well agrees with your judgement of you, hence you are correct to feel how you do about yourself. What if this person you dated was influenced in their actions by the fact that they weren’t as ready to date as they thought, or they just wanted a few dates, or they recognised that they liked you but didn’t share the same values or whatever – how does this equate to you having flaws that scare people away?

Let’s just say that it’s plain and simple not interested – the only way that this equates to something being wrong with you is if you’ve already determined this meaning that you can take on board but may not choose or want to), does suggest to those whom you give license to, that you overvalue their opinion far too much, which communicates the wrong things. ” even though you didn’t really because you wouldn’t have been satisfied that what they saw you as was correct because you believe it.

It’s one thing if you ask someone you trust (and they’ve earned it and it’s mutual) to give you their objective opinion on something and follow it up with your own internal compass, but assuming that everyone else has more objectivity than you by default, is forgetting the fact that as humans we have a natural tendency to be influenced by our own experiences, perception, feelings, fears, beliefs, motivations etc. live in your skin, think your own thoughts, move your own limbs, have your own values, and make your own choices. This is why it becomes critical to address your unhealthy beliefs because when you believe something, the only thing that will really change you believing that is willing to budge from that position, all you’ll do is bumble through life creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that confirms your beliefs, not because they’re ‘true true’, but because you’re in some sort of Groundhog Day gravitating to people and situations that help you believe.

When we think of what we can do to nurture our relationship, we often think of tangibles. Perhaps it was a caring teacher in grade school who seemed to know exactly the right thing to say when you were upset.

Think back to a time when you remember feeling really understood.

In feeling that they might be influenced by personal feelings (which of course you’re going to be to a degree when you’re thinking about you), seeking validation from others seems like the answer and creates this blind and rather dangerous assumption that others are ‘correct’, ‘factual’ and are uninfluenced.

If you find it difficult to trust your opinion on you or a situation and seek ‘balance’ by gaining objectivity from external sources, you’re also making the assumption that these people are objective in the You may assume that they don’t have the same prejudices as you or the same things at ‘stake’, plus when you have a tendency to discount your own feelings, perception and opinion, you love making ‘experts’ out of those around you, even if they aren’t qualified to do so.

When someone appears to agree with a negative assessment and conclusion you’ve drawn about yourself, it becomes “Oh… Until you’re willing to listen with to yourself, to not judge yourself so harshly, to trust you, to be compassionate, to give yourself a break, how can you really listen to ‘feedback’ from others, and know who has your best interests at heart or at least isn’t influenced by their own shadiness or warped perspective?

It’ll be a painful existence where everything looks and sounds like a reflection of you not being ‘good enough’.

Research has shown that having these types of interactions with your partner helps your partner feel less upset and less vulnerable, whereas invalidating behaviors do the opposite; they make your partner feel criticized, dismissed, or contempt from you.